Thankful

So I wrote this awhile ago but it's all part of life with Gavey so I figured I would post this one too :) Makes it look like I'm on a roll tonight!! Ha!

I had a bit of a melt down this morning. Pre-Gavin dramatic mornings like this were a bit more typical than they are Post-Gavin. He has had a great way of putting things in perspective for me and reminding me about what's truly important in life. I also don't want him to look at me like a hot mess so I try to keep it together, but I guess somedays life gets the best of me. Like this morning :) I felt so bad though. I sat at my kitchen table, looking over my sales, spreadsheets, bookstore orders, etc and just started crying. I couldn't breathe, I felt so panicked and upset. Bryan got Gaveyman up this morning, gave him a bath, brushed his hair, got him dressed, and fed him his cereal and bottle, all while I just sat staring at my computer screen. Poor Gavey wouldn't stop staring at me and he looked so concerned. I picked him up and he gave me the biggest kiss and a smile and it made me realize that he is the best thing ever. In that moment I could breathe again, and I really can't imagine my life without him. I think I need my little Gaveypants. Poor Bryan though. He came over and rubbed my back and tried to give me a hug and I shook him off me and told him to stop. Ugh. I'm terrible. I owe someone a big apology tonight. He even got up early to try and find what I really wanted for Christmas all over the internet but he couldn't find anywhere that had it. Or that would get it here in time. Strike two- I told him if I didn't get it by Christmas I didn't want it. I think it's time I stop being selfish with him and truly appreciating how great he really is to me. Bryan thank you for putting up with my drama, stress and nonsense you are the best around!!! :)

A few people were putting up things they were thankful for during the month of November. I didn't but, I thought why can't I now? I really need to count my blessings and not get hung up on things that in the grand scheme of things don't matter. I mean they do matter (a lot) but in a different way...

• Gavin. You were a complete surprise but you were the best, and greatest little surprise I could ever ask for in my life. You are so healthy, happy and funny and I love you so much.
• Bryan. You are the best husband. You will do anything to make me happy, you're so smart and successful, and Gavin absolutly adores you.
• My Faith. Yes this should be number one, but honestly I can't help but think of Brybear and Gaveyman first. Although I'm not the best example, and I constantly struggle with living the life I should live, my faith is what grounds me, and it's what carries me through everything. I would be so lost and hopeless without it.
• Riverview. Riverview is what made Lansing home for us. We have made SO many great friends here, and we look forward to going to church every Sunday, which is something that I've never looked forward to in my life. Shhh! :)
• My job. Granted you have to work so hard, and a lot of times your hard work doesn't always pay off the way you need it to, but it's so financially rewarding, fun, and I truly love what I do.
• My manager. Both my previous manager and my new manager. They are both so great, so successful and have taught me so much. They push me to do better, not to make excuses and to work hard. They've done so much for me and I am lucky to work and to have worked with them.
• My District. I love everyone I work with. Granted I don't get to see them that much, but I have a few who I talk to on a regular basis (or Val who I talked to on an hourly basis :) and they are the only ones who really understand this job, the ups the downs and we all want each other to succeed and do really well. It's not competitive and we would all do anything to help the other person out, which is rare in most work places.
• My family in New York. They would do anything for you, and they've done everything for me. The older I get, the more I appreciate them. With the exception of one. Wait, I didn't write that. Ha
• Bryan's family. Laura is one of my good friends, I love my niece and nephews, and Bryan's mom and dad do SO much for us. Before we had a sitter in the area, they would drive an hour and half to take care of him so we could go out for our birthday, anniversary, MSU vs UM game, and coming up New Years Eve since we'll be gone overnight. His dad helps keep our house in order by doing things that we need done around the house. He's even mowed our lawn over the summer I think more than we have. Oops!
• My Gram. She is hands down the person I respect and admire more than anyone in my life.
• I know this is shallow but I'm so thankful and looking forward to our upcoming va-ca this summer. It's over due and I need to go somewhere, where I can completley disconnect from e-mails, cellphones, and the internet in general. I want to be selfish and spend all of my time with my Bry, laying on the beach, drinking cocktails, and hopefully not crying over missing Gavin too much :) Although I'm sure I will be a mess without him! Yikes!
• My friends. I am blessed with so many people I can call anytime, to talk about anything, and they will always be there.
• Adam. (Bryan I feel funny listing another guy on here- you'll understand once you start going to him! Promise!) I hate him during the time of our workout, but I appreciate him so much after. I may not be at my lowest weight ever, but I'm stronger than I have been before which makes me a quicker runner, happier person, and he pushes me to do more than I think I can do when working out. Plus he makes it fun, and I like going to the gym again.
• Tot watch at the gym. I know this is little but when I was on maternity leave, being able to take Gavin here in the mroning and at night so I could have "me time" kept me sane. They are so good with him, and get so excited everytime they see him. Gavin knows them now too and likes to go in and play with Grandma Jan, Linda and Brett.
• Our house. Shallow again but in this economy it seems like so many people are losing their house due to foreclosure or because they just can't keep up. I've heard so many stories about this and it's really heartbreaking.  
• Maru. Hands down the best sushi ever.
• The professors I work with. So many people sent gifts when Gavin was born, took me to lunch or grabbed coffee just to catch up and chat. They are always asking about Gav, want me to send pics, and truly care with how he and I are doing. They've all been great to talk to, and it makes my job so much fun when I have friendships with the people I work with.

I'm positive I have so many other things to be thankful for, but these are the main ones, and I have to say I feel better already!! :)

How is it the weekend Already??- Ok so I wrote this on 9/17 but apparently never hit publish! :)

Ok wow. Talk about crazy busy week. I'm back to work making the rounds around campus like a hard little worker rep. I should've started doing this a week ago but I was one sick momma. Ugh. It sucked. I felt a little cold coming on, and then by Monday I felt terrible. I made a Dr's appointment because I didn't want to get Mr. Gavman sick and I felt like "That person" bc I hate going to the Dr over a little cold. Thankfully I did though, bc when they listened to my lungs there was cackling and the x-ray confirmed it- pneumonia. Boo! Anyways they gave me some pretty strong meds, and I was back at it this week.  Woo Hoo!

Work so far is going pretty good, just CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY busy. I need to take a deep breath and know within the next couple of weeks it's going to settle down a bit. I had 2 lunches this week, 2 worktrips and full campus days. Not to mention all of the fun e-mail follow up I get to do when I get home after I try and spend time with Gavman. You can tell he's getting pissed too. I drop him off at Cindy's and he scowls at me...I pick him up, and he scowls at me again. I don't let him out of the car and bring him inside until he gives me a smile. Lately that's been taking longer, and longer. Cindy thinks he's teething, and also thinks he's developing a bit of a temper. Oh Dear Lord PLEASE do not let him get his mom's temper. Seriously. I don't know what i would do? I'm praying to God he gets Bryan's temperment...laid back, chill, easy going. Not his mom's anxiety, temper or inability to relax. He is a happy baby, everyone comments on his big smiles when we're out and about, but when I pick him up or drop him off at Cindy's it's another story. Gavin, what gives little man?! Could you stop...it's giving me a guilty complex! I know she treats you so good bc everytime I walk in she's holding you, kissing your head, and when I asked if you gave her any issues she hugged you and said Nooo I love him so much! Ha. Looks like you have someone wrapped around your finger?! I'm just happy you're somewhere, where I know your safe, loved and get lots of attention. I really couldn't ask for a better person to watch you. Besides me.

I'm actually dying to see the new Sarah Jessica Parker movie- I don't know how she does it. It was cute because the preview came on and Bryan was like, that would be one you'd really like, we should go see it. So sweet coming from the guy that begged me to go see My Idiot Brother last weeked. I refused so we ended up at Mitchell's Fish Market instead. Ha. Sorry Bry but wasn't feeling it. Anyways, I think I really would love that movie now that I'm a mom, and workkking like a crazy. The problem is I have a tendency to fall asleep during movies so that might be one we PPV once it's out. Although now that we have Gavin a movie seems like a luxury because we can't go with him...Even though I can't wait until he's old enough so we can go see Pixar movies without looking like creeps just Bryan and I.

Since I was sick last week, yesterday was my first day with my new personal trainer, Adam. Wow! Ok I can't walk today. Seriously. I'm supposed to go out for dinner tonight and I planned on wearing heels. All this girl wants to do is throw on sweats, sneakers and hobble around like an old lady.  It was all basically free weights, and core. Really, core?! I don't have one. I've never missed one. And it's so hard. BUT you know what, I told myself I'm going to push it for 12 weeks and see what happens. After that I can continue on with him, do it myself or swear of working out for the rest of my life because he'll make me hate it. Ha. Kidding. We don't want an obese little chunky monkey so even though I was a runner before, I'm making myself become more fit so Im' a good example to Gavs. I'm for the most part in all my clothes again but they do not fit like they used to. If I could drop just a little more weight like 8-10lbs it would be perfect! So here goes nothing. Adam, can kick my booty as much as he wants if it means I'll meet my goal :)

Speaking of Booty. Gavin LOVES sleeping with his in the air. I remember when he was in my belly he would literally always push his butt out. It hurt so bad and looked so rediculous but he still does it! I never noticed it until when we put him in his crib and watch him on the video monitor. He has a little tradition...Flip on his belly, strech his arms out, and the scootch them back in popping his booty in the air. Whatta cute little inchworm he is. When we're holding him against us he does the same thing. Hey You Mrrr Bootyyy.

Also, one by one we're getting our living room back. Mr Gavin has totally outgrown his playmat, and I'm thinking the swing might be next. Grante he's in it now but he can reach up and pull on the little birdsthat spin around his head, so I'm sure that will be put away soon. Kind of sad in a way, but it will nice to not have baby stuff EVERYWHERE. Granted, I'm sure I'm naive in thinking that and it will be quickly replaced with the next new thing he has to have.

Ok so this was random, BUT what better way to use your time when your kid is taking a 2 hour nap?! AFTER sleeping from 9-8 this morning...Must be he just couldn't keep up with his mom and dad's crazy night of shopping and dinner last night. Woo Hoo. Be jealous of our wild Friday Nights. They don't get much better than that! :)

It just keeps getting better!!

Can I just say I'm one of those moms who is already sad about the thought of my son marrying a woman and not needing his mom as much?! It makes me want to cry thinking that someday Gav won't be my little baby who I get to cuddle and snuggle and kiss every single moment I want to. It doesn't make it better that EVERYONE who sees us reminds me about how quickly it goes? Ok so I'm clearly crazy. THAT being said. It really does just keep getting better and better. It's to the point where I'm really enjoying every new thing that Gav does, and I'm not so sad about my babes getting bigger and older because that's going to bring along a lot more new and fun things. It's like I had this major epiphany and now I can rest at ease :) Ha. Well somewhat. I still hate bumping him up to the next clothes sizes, but that's ok since I squeeze every last bit of him into the ones we have. I also feel bad because we recieved a TONNNN of clothes during his baby showers, and after he was born so I hate knowing that there are some he'll never wear. Ok. I guess if that's the biggest dilemma I'm facing with him right now than I shouldn't complain.

We had such a great weekend!! Saturday we went shopping for new clothes for me since my sales meeting is a week from today! Yikes! The thought of leaving my son for 4 days is sickening. Booooooo. I left him in the nursery at church for the first time this week and literally walked back in tears, to the point where my husband had to keep hugging me so I could pull it together. Gavin you have EVERY right to be so embarrassed of me. I'll get better. I promise. We then left church and went to our friend's house for the night. We spent the night there and little Gav slept until 10 the next morning!! Although I should have woked him a little sooner since he was SO soaked!! His little onsie was drenched, his blanket, the blanket he laid on, and their pack and play. Oops! You were just so snuggly I couldn't wake you! Apparently hanging out with his little future wifey Quinn just wore that boy right out! Gavs how fun will it be to look back on this when you're married and see that I knew it all along?! Although we just need to hope she's into younger guys :) We then spent the next day with them, and then collapsed because we were so tired. It's not like we really did anything?! Well Bry helped move furniture and did actual work but I did nothing. It was nice having a laid back day though and much needed.

Now off to a new work week! We're going to be busy visiting bookstores, and have a couple lunches set up with different professors so it should be a fun one! Although it's getting harder going out with Gav since he hates laying down and just wants us to hold him so he's standing up and then he bounces. Which is cute but not when you're trying to have a conversation with someone. It can be a bit distracting, so hopefully everything goes great!

Ok good job me. I am getting much better at being consistant here. Although it's only been this one time, but here's to the next! :)

Backkk to Work!

Could someone please tell me where the last 12 weeks went?! Seriously! I can't believe my maternity leave is officially over. I'm torn. Part of me is so sad because it's been nice to just chill and be on my own schedule, but the other part of me has to say, it feels good to be back at it! I've missed my professors and it's so nice to get e-mails from them asking about Gav and telling me that they're happy I came back! Although this time around it's going to be a litttttle different because of a few changes that went on, but all in all it's going to work out I have no doubt!

In all honesty during the last couple days, I contemplated quitting my job and staying home with Gav. Who would've thought?! BUT I'm in sales and I'm set up to have a really great year this year, so I don't want to walk away now. I'd be leaving my bonus check on the table, and after walking all over my territory, carrying a heavy bag and laptop up until I was 9 months pregnant, I would be crazy to leave now. Plus with my job it's easy to ease your way back into it. Actually right now I can bring Gav along with me, which is what we did this week. He's a huge hit, plus I think it's going to help me increase my sales! It's one thing to say no to me, but it's another thing to say no to a little cutey patootey who's staring at you with these big brown eyes!! He's my little secret weapon, so watch out other reps!! You've got nothing on this dream team!

So what's new in the little man's life?! Well he's "crawling" both on his back and on his stomach. He literally picks the front half of himself up, and the picks his little butt up then scootches. It's soo cute! Well not so cute when he does it in his crib and then wakes us up because he's ramming his head into the top of it repeatedly. We drag him back down and he usually is back to sleeping at the top or crossways by morning. I wish I could safely tie his ankles to the bottom of the crib!! Shhhh!! :) We did have a little scare the other day though. He was chilling on his little play mat that Val got him, and I had to run upstairs to take a quick call. He normally lays on it and plays quietly so no big deal right?! Well I ran downstairs 2 minutes later and he was gone!! My heart dropped, then I found him, laying on his back across the room hitting his head against the wall. My rediculous anxiety ridden mind made me think someone snuck in and stole him...I need to stop watching anything scary. Ever. Or maybe just stop thinking because I always think the worst. What's wrong with me?! Poor Gav, I'm already a nervous wreck about you driving, and we have 16 years to go. Hopefully I'll relax a little by then!

Now that I'm going back to work I'm going to miss my gym friends! We're all there at the same time every morning, chit chatting about our kids, working out, and motivating each other. It's so sad :( Plus I'm going to miss Grandma Jan and Alicia in Tot Watch. I can go at night but there are different people in there then. They're great too, but I just love those morning ladies!! :)

This is another funnnn weekend for the Less Family!! We're going up to Boyne Mountain and staying at the Blue Green resort. My in-laws will be there along with Gav's cousins Owen and Olivia. It should be fun, they're a water park, beach, and we're sooo close to Petoskey. I think Bry and I will leave Gav for a night with his parents, and go shopping and have a nice romantic dinner there. I can't wait. I will most likely have to hit up American Spoon my favorite Gelato place too!! Bry and I were talking and already at 3 months Gav's been all over, even through another country. He told me to write it in his baby book, but that's so 2010!! Soooo for Bry's AND Gav's sake I thought I would just do a quick run down...Happy Brybear?!

• New York twice (first time at 2 weeks- wow was I crazy?! and then again at 3 months)
• Cleveland and had lunch with Val
• Pennsylvania (although just to drive through...we did stop in Erie for a VERY tasty Chick-Fil-A sandwich :)
• Canadaaaa (thankfully he would get fussy everytime we were waiting at customs, so they shipped us on through)
• Indiana to go camping
• Holland, MI
• Ludington, MI
• Grand Haven, MI (oooh all beach towns!! What are you a little water baby already?!)
• And a bunch of little MI Towns to go shopping but I'm not going to count those. I'm not that crazy. I promise.

Ok better get back to work!! Enough procrastinating for this girl!!

I'm becoming Normal again!

This is the first week where I really finally felt like a normal person! We're getting into a routine which is making my life So So So much easier! I've been going to bed around 10:00 each night, sleeping until 3 or 4, then I feed Gav, and he sleeps until around 9. I think the worst part of the last few weeks has been the sleep deprivation but now that I'm finally not feeling as tired, I can actually function and get up and get things done. I'm sure Bryan is much happier too. When I don't get enough sleep I'm crabby, whiny and I cry so it's good for all of us when I'm not overly tired!! :) I probably should work on that though...

Mothers Day!!

So I had the best Mothers Day ever!! Bryan let me sleep in, and took care of Gavin all day for me and made our house look amazing. We woke up and went to church, which I unfortunatly missed most of it since Gav was a hungry little guy so we had to sit in the entry area.. We then went shopping and out to dinner, the weather was great and it was nice just to hang out with my Brybear! I kept reminding him that you only get one first mothers day so I either wanted a Louie or a Tiffany's bracelet and he did even better. He bought me Rob Lowe's new autobiography (I'm so in love with that man..that applies to both Bry and Rob :), I also got 3 tiffany's bracelets that can be worn together, and the back one is DBG for obviously Dorelle, Bryan and Gavin, and he gave me flowers, even though I'm not a flower person these ones were cute, and the best thing ever was my favorite pepperidge farm chocolate fudge cake with red velvet ice cream. YUMMMM! Not bad for my first mothers day. Now let's see how he out does himself next year?! Ha. JK Bry. Everything was great and I loved it!!!

Play Dates and Crying Passengers

Gavin had his first play date with Madeline in Kalamazoo this week! It was SO great to see Heather, who if she's reading this right now is making fun of me for having a blog bc we always thought they were the dumbest things ever. Now here I am!!!! Ha! What else am I going to do that I said I never would?! Yikes. I don't want to know. Gavin was sooo good the whole time we were there, and then on the ride home he started screaming. I had no where to pull off so I had to let the little guy cry for like 20 minutes straight. I felt horrible. I finally pull over and he stops crying the minute I hop in the back with him to check him out and make sure he's ok. I swear he even gave me  little smirk but that could just be in my head?! So then thinking we're cool and ready to go, I jump back on the highway and he started screaming the rest of the way home....which was another 30 minutes. I'm not so sure I'm ready for a trip to NY all by myself yet?! It was one of the saddest most nerve wracking moments ever because I felt horrible that I kept on driving while he cried but I dind't want to keep pulling over or we'd never get home. Oooh Gavey pants!!

Work

You know what's sad? I actually miss working!! When I talk to my friends Val and Jen I literally want to hear all about work and live vicariously through them!!!! Ha. What?! I think I need a hobby or I'm going insane sitting in my house. I mean I enjoy every minute with my little babe don't get me wrong but I guess I miss feeling overly productive. I will never be able to be a stay at home mom because I think I would drive myself, my son and my husband crazy. I'm not sure why I feel guilty about this, and it's nothing against Gavin, I guess I should feel lucky that I actually have a job that I love doing so much. One of the professors I work with made me feel better bc she said when she had both of her kids she couldn't wait to get back to work bc she wasn't the stay at home type either and I shouldn't feel bad. I'm sure I'll be a crying mess the first time I drop him off at daycare but the way I look at it, it's good for him to be around other kids and not be hanging out with his crazy mom all the time :)