26.2

I am a nervous wreck about running Bayshore this Saturday! There I said it. I feel like I put in my training, and I think I'm in better shape then I was the last time I ran this (I think in 2009? or was it 2010?)...I just know I totally hit the wall at mile 18 and I'm so scared of that happening again. Literally worst feeling. Ever. Well maybe tied with child birth. Your whole body cramps up. You feel dizzy. Want to puke. Tired. Angry. Hot. I could go on and on. Wow I'm sounding so positive! Yikes! I think I just need to hydrate better, not be afraid to have more than 1 Gu and not put so much pressure on myself. My goal this year is honestly to enjoy it. I'm proud of the hard work I put in, my long lonely runs in below zero tempertures, getting up early so I could be down with a 20 miler by 8:00 am, I'm ready!!

I have one more run before the race, and it's only 2 miles!! I just finished my 3 miler and even though my legs felt heavy and it was muggy, it was a good run. Well maybe not so much time wise. I'm not sure why my pace was 9:15 considering I should have been under 9 mm but it's done, and I'm ready to start my day. I think I'm just so sleepy, thanks to the little boy who is finally sleeping peacefully in his own crib.

I am developing this terrible habit with him where I don't let him cry at night anymore. If I hear him start crying I race up the stairs, pick him, and he says "Snuggle with mommy in mommy's bed"....ahh! What am I to do?! It's so cute and so precious and while I know this is so not what I should be doing, the other part of me loves every minute. Well at least the first 10 minutes. Then he freaks out if I even think about picking him up and moving him to his crib...so I let him sleep. Kicking me, elbowing me, rolling over me, pushing me, I could go on and on. Needless to say neither one of us gets the best sleep. Ugh! I need to put earbuds on and play on the ipad once I put him down to get him out of this habit. I need sleep. He used to be so good and going to bed until I started this. Darn it.

Alright, time to shower, and get back to painting...we are having new carpet installed next week and I had the brilliant idea of "quickly" painting all the trim in my house. Um yeah. Now Bryan had to buy new touch up paint for the rooms because there is no such thing in quickly painting trim. I should have hired someone. Live and learn, right?! I am officially retiring from painting after this project is done.

My Heart is Aching...

I have to be honest. I've purposely/selfishly tried to avoid all of the coverage on the Tornado in Oklahoma. I had an alert from CNN come through my phone yesterday stating that over 20 people are dead, and among the victims were children. My heart hurts so bad just hearing that, that I don't think I can put myself through putting a name to the victims, hearing their stories, hearing how some kids are still stuck in the buildings, scared, and wanting their mommy and daddy....

This year has been such a tragic year for so many. Sandy Hook, Boston Marathon, the Oklahoma Tornado, and I'm sure there are other huge tragic events that I'm missing that I tried to delete from my memory. Part of me feels so guilty not wanting to know what's going on, and forgetting about these sad events. The other part of me really can't take much more. I'm 2 seconds from quitting my job, building a bunker and never ever letting Gavin out of my arms.

I truly cannot even imagine what it is like to lose your children. I pray and hope I never experience this...I know and trust that God is in control, I am confident He has a perfect plan, and I know that things like this shouldn't cause me to question Him, but sometimes it does. Not to the point where I doubt Him, but I just don't understand. I wish He wouldn't allow things like this to happen. I know that none of us deserve everything that we've been blessed with, and that He is good, but I pray that God wouldn't bless me with my perfect, sweet little boy, only to take him away. My heart breaks for the parents who do not know if their children are alive, and for the parents who knows that their kids are no longer here.

I pray that God protects you Gavin from all of the evil in this world. This world is a scary place, but there are a lot of good things. I pray that we do not lose sight of the good, and that we keep our eyes focused on Him, otherwise it's easy to get swept up with fear, and negativity. I pray that I never forget how blessed and fortunate I am to be your mother, and that I never take it for granted. Not that I have ever once wished that I wasn't, but somedays there are times I'm so exhausted and worn out that I get frustrated...not with you. Just things like, waking up in the middle of the night because you want to watch Thomas, and it's 2:30 in the morning...like last night! Or the fact we were up playing by 5 am because you couldn't sleep any longer. Things like that are so little, and I shouldn't feel sorry for myself that I'm so tired when you know what...I'm so much more lucky to have these moments with you. I love you so much little boy. I hate that it takes things like this to snap me back into reality about how fragile life really is. You are blessed with a mommy who will do anything for you, always. You have the best daddy you could ask for. You are surrounded by SO many friends and people who love you, that sometimes it even blows me away that such a young guy can have so many people who care for him, already! You are so awesome, thank you for being my Gavey.

On days like this, where things do not makes sense, and I just want to hold my baby tight and protect him forever I have to remember...

 

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6)"

Updates. Updates.

Wow. Ok my posts are becoming wayyy to far apart. Now that things are slowing down with work, I'm going to try my best to get back up to speed on this. The Key to all of this is TRYYY. Because I'm not good with jumping all over the place, well maybe I am, but I have so many things I've been wanting to write down so I can look back and remember these fun Gavey moments...and some "not so fun" moments, because Gav, let's be real the terrible 2's have hit and they drive this momma cray cray.



• You talk non-stop and I love it! You can say complete sentences and have been able to do this for awhile. Dr. Spates said your a genius at your 2 year check up. I have to say I agree ;)
• Your favorite foods are: Hot Dogs, Chicken Nuggets, Frozen Chobani Yogurt, Pizza, and Macaroni and Cheese. I pray that you do not end up a obese child. Ahh! You eat terrible. You are starting to come around to bannanas and apples. Whew!



• You HATE milk. Once we stole your bottle from you, you haven't had a sip since. Awesome. You are on track to be obese with terrible bones. The good news is Calcium gummies, which I hope make a difference. I'm done buying Soy milk, Almond Milk, Chocolate Milk, Goat's Milk (Yes your dad so did that! Gross!), and Whole milk. We can't trick you into drinking it so I give up. You win.
• You are so in love with Juliette and I'm going to just say it. You two are probably going to get married. Owww Owww. You just need to start being nicer to Steven, you're kind of a bully to him. You say Yayy let's play with Juliette, not Steven momma. Ha! I bet you two will be BFF's before you know it.
• Your favorite shows are Curious George, Thomas, and Little Engine. You also love to sing the Super Why Song...so cute!! You yell "Super Why, Super Readers!!!!" I love it! What I don't love is you now say "George wants dinner Mommy", "George is tired", and make REALLY loud monkey shrieks and say that you're George.
• You think it's hysterical to SCREEEAM at the top of your lungs in the most blood curdeling noise you can possibly yell. It drives me crazyyy. But I laugh every time. Shoot.
• When you wake up in the night and want to get up you yell, "I Pooped mom, Change me Mom!" You trick me each time, because you know I won't leave you in a gross diaper. It's a dirty trick Gav Gav.
• My Favorite things you say, are..."Give me a hug Mom! I need a hug" and you run to me and wrap your arms around my neck so tight. I love it Gav. Please never stop. Ever. Then you sometimes say Give me Kiss! And give me the longest smoooch ever. I couldn't ask for more :) My other fav...is when you say snuggle with me mommy, let's snuggle. It melts my heart every time and no matter what I'm doing I will always drop it just to snuggle. You're the best Gav.
• You are a super fast runner and whenever I want to brush your hair, change your diaper, bring you inside, well really do anything that you do not want me to do, you run as fast as you can so I have to chase you. Funny when we're just hanging out, not so funny when I'm running late and need to get out the door.
• You love hanging out with Jackson and Carly...They're your little BFF's and you would hang out with them every minute of every day if you could. I try not to get jealous ;)
• You're a big kid...pretty much between a 2T and 3T, although I did squeeze you in my fav shirt this morning which was 12-18 months. I think it might look a little snug, but I needed you to wear it one last time. Think of it as a favor to me for getting up with you at 6:30 this morning so you could watch George and eat Yogurt.
• You are obsessed with your Cars, as in McQueen, Mater, Sally, etc. You have over 20 of the Cars thanks to your Poppa and Grammy and you love to lay each one out and then run over them with your monster trucks...You also say MONSTER TRUCK in a deep, somewhat creepy voice every time! Ha! All boy?! Yes I think so. I wouldn't want you any other way!
• Your new favorite "joke" is saying in a loud raspy voice, "DADDY'S CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!" Ha. I don't really get it, and I'm not sure why you think your Dad is a chicken nugget, but I laugh hysterically every time. This either says more about you, or the fact I have a strange sense of humor. I really don't get it why I find it so funny...but I do. Every. Time.
• You love to pray. And it makes me proud every time! Whenever we sit down to eat, you say, "let's pray." You fold your little hands, bow your head, and close your eyes. at the end you always yell Amen! It's so precious and so cute. I take back what I said before, this is my real favorite thing you do. Love you Gav.
• You're driving the car already and love it...We let you sit on our laps when we pull in the driveway so you can "Drive" the car in, or back it out so you have room on the driveway. Actually after typing this out it sounds very illegal and unsafe. If that's the case then I'll plead the 5th and say I'm just joking.
• You are obsessed with "Big Kids". Whenever you hear another kid, you get so excited and say, let's find the big kids! I want to play with the big kids! But...you still call yourself my baby, which I love. You will always be my baby, even when you are a big kid.

Your First Co-Ed Sleeper

 

Ok that's a quick well not really quick, but at least an update on what you're up to and doing now :) I promise to try and keep working on this for you, and I guess for me too. I love looking back and seeing your milestones, and how you're growing. It's so crazy how quickly you're changing, and that you're turning into such a little boy. I am so excited and proud to see the person you are becoming Gavey. I love you SO SO very much. Thank you for keeping life so fun for your dad and I. We love you more than you know!!



Changes.

Gosh. What hasn't happened in the last month or so?! I mean I guess I should say what hasn't happened in the last week or two. Funny how things change so quickly without any warning at all. I'm not going to go in to details but it def has been a whirlwind of emotions the last couple of weeks. I can honestly say now looking back I'm in a great place and really excited about what could be on the horizon!! I'll leave it at that. I have total peace about whatever happens and who knows, maybe by the next time I write in this little blog things will have changed a million more times. All I want to say is, no matter what comes along, or how quickly things change, everthing ends up ok. I was a complete wreck one minute, to now seeing a bigger picture and I'm really excited about new possibilities. I guess this is pretty cryptic unless you know what I'm talking about but if nothing else this is just a good life lesson and reminder to me. Everything.Will.Be.Ok.... Awesome!

Now on to my bullet pointed life:

• Marathon training has begun! I ran my first "long run" of 8 miles on Saturday morning. Ugh. Seriously my weather app said 4 degrees feels like 0, and I went out at 6:15 am. By the time I got home I literally was almost in tears because I couldn't feel my fingers (yes I wore gloves) but my thumb and pinky were so numb and throbbing. Who knew two little fingers could make the last mile of your run agonizing.
• We had an AMAZING Christmas. We had a little family Christmas in our home and then went to Laura and Jeremy's. We had REALLLY yummy creme brulee french toast with champagne, and opened our gifts on Christmas morning. Mr Gavey scored big time with 200 wooden Thomas Tracks, Cranky the Crane, and over 40 of the wooden thomas and friends cars. It was a great idea in theory but now they take up my whole living room floor. Can we just hurry and get the basement done so we can turn that into the Island of Sodor?! I'm excited because we decided that we're going to collect as much of the Wooden Thomas cars, accessories, etc that we can and then pack it up so Gavin can hand it down to his kids when he gets older. Now that is planning ahead. Plus I think Bryan and I like building and playing with these as much as he does!!
• Gavey is a chattey Gavey. I LOVE it. It's crazy. He's like a little person!! How did that happen?! My fav little new Gavey tricks are:
• Every morning when we come down the stairs, he looks at me and says, "Did you sleep good Mommy?"
• He still calls Water Fresha and I hope he never stops! Ha
• He needs "Cubes" in his water every time he drinks his water. If he doesn't have cubes, get out of Mr. Temper pants way
• He loves to ride on the roof of his Crazy Coupe. If he drives it he goes backwards. Not forwards.
• He loves being chased! "Catch me momma!!!!" which is fun until we're out in public and chasing is the last thing I want to do
• He is OBSESSED with cars. We literally watch it every day. We bought an ipad thinking we would use it for educational Gavey things. Nope. It's literally just a portable TV so he can watch Cars wherever we go. Ahhh. We're the worst.
• He has to sleep with Momo, blankey, woof woof, McQueen, Fresha, and his pillow. Carrying him up to bed and back down again is getting to be a bit rediculous.
• His favorite thing ever is when we pull in the drive way, he yells STOP! then Go! then Stop! then Go! and everytime I have to either stop or go. I swear our neighbors must think we're crazy or that I'm driving a stick shift and have no idea what I'm doing. He laughs the whole time so it's worth all the crazy stories they must think of us! :)
• He has entered the terrible 2's. Big time. My gram said she has never met a child who is so stubbor and strong willed. Awesome. Thanks Gav. We have def noticed. Speaking of which I need to read Love and Logic which a friend suggested. Mental note.
• Bryan tore his Achillies tendon a few months ago and the poor guy is still in a boot and can't drive. We're hoping that Feb 14th when he goes back to the surgeon he is cleared to kick that boot to the curb!!!  PLEASE!

Alright. How is that for a short sweet quick run down. I'm sure I'm missing a million things but at least I made a little headway right?! This time of year I eat sleep and breath work so this was a nice little distraction for a bit :) Alright, time to catch up on the Bachelor! Oww Owww!

Merry Christmas Eve!!

Yayy it's Christmas Eve and I have to say I'm pretty pumped!! This is the first year gavey will actually be excited to open his presents and not just play with the wrapping paper :) I hope!

Gavey is currently taking his little nap and then were off to Riv to help with the Christmas Eve service and I can't wait! I feel like we're normally on the road or with family and that were never at our house on Christmas. I miss New York but there is something to be said about starting our own little traditions. Then bry and I are going to exchange gifts tonight so we can enjoy christmas morning with gaveypants. I just picked up groceries to make my famous creme brûlée french toast!! Skinnytaste thank you very much!

And can I just say my morning started off well a little klutzy?! So I get up at 5:30 all ready to run 5 miles at 6 am. Bryan was begging me to run on the treadmill but no I'm a real runner right? I'm tough and can brave the cold early in the morning!! Ha umm no. Within the first 2 minutes I tripped on a block of ice, fell forward and and bang my knee and elbow SO hard!! Ahh!! I literally grabbed my elbow and turned around to run home and then realized I didn't hurt too bad so I made myself finish my fun . I felt great until I took a shower now oh man it's so painful!! Bryan and I are hot messes... Him on crutches and me limping with an elbow that doesn't bend all the way! Ha perfect!!

Alright I probably should get my gavpants up. My new fav gav thing: every time he sneezes or coughs he tells Bless you!! Like yells it! Ha. And now he fake coughs just to be silly and say it. Silly gavey.

Mommy and Daddy Rewind.

Alright. Wow. Can I just say it's a huge relief to get Mr. Gaveypants update Done. Done. Done. Now look at me on a little blogging roll :) So much has happened in the last few months that it's a little cray cray. (haha is it bad I stold this from Bryan?! Kidding. Not really.)

So let's do a quick run down on what's new with the fam:

• I'm all signed up and officially running another full marathon. Yikes! What have I gotten myself in to? Thankfully it's not until Memorial Weekend so I still have plenty of time to get it together. The Corr's are running the half, Laura's running the half and I think I know a couple others who will be out there, so at least it will be fun to have friends out there running the race too!! My official training starts January 20th although I'm working on strength and speed until then. Hopefully it helps and I feel better than I did after my last one. I literally felt like my body was going to fall apart limb by limb. Awesome.
• Bryan was SUPER pumped to play on a men's league soccer team with people from Riv until his first game...the poor guy tore his achillies tendon and had to have surgery a couple weeks ago. He has to be on cructhes and in a boot for at least another 2 possibly 3 months. The Dr said he won't be able to run again for at least 9 so no Bayshore race for him :( Boo! He's had such a great attitude about it all, I'm really proud of him. I have to admit I took it really hard at first bc I'm selfish and just thought about all the work this was going to make me. It has been tough but I think I'm now in the swing of things and everything will be just fine. I just feel bad for him because he is so limited on what he can do. He just wants to be able to walk up the stairs or into the kitchen for a glass of water without it being an ordeal. I know there is a lesson in this somewhere and maybe he needed the downtime... Plus it was kind of nice having him home for 3 weeks!
• We went home to New York for Thanksgiving and it was so great to see me gram. She is so awesome and amazing. I would give anything to live back home agian so I could be closer to her but I know that's not in our plans for now. We were supposed to go home this last weekend for Christmas but Gaveypants was sick so we had to cancel. I'm hoping to get home again in January so we can celebrate and see the family again. We've had a lot of bad news and it's been a horribly trying time for my family between my aunt being in ICU since Thanksgiving, certain family members who have well done a few things that are really hurtful, a cancer scare with another person in my family, ugh. Seriously everything has been so heavy on my heart that I don't think I can take much more bad news :( It weighs so heavily on me and I wish I could fix it but I can't...I can just be positive and be there for my family the best I can. We will get through it. As my gram says, "this to shall past." I have a great hubs and group of friends who have been so great in carrying me through this hard time that I think I'm finally on the other side and can see hope and forgiveness. Wow this was deeper than I anticipated! :)
• Bryan's parents moved to DeWitt and now live about 5 minutes down the road from us. They've been such a huge help with Bryan being laid up. They stop over and help out with Gavin, hang our curtains, Christmas Lights, set up our Christmas tree, take the garbage out, have us over for dinner. Their move was perfect timing. Plus Gavin loves going to see them and Ben their dog who Gav's obsessed with. It's also been helpful since our sitter goes away to school we only have her on the weekends, so it's nice to have back up childcare if we have plans or need a night out. It's been really great. I also love that Gavey will grow up close to family and have that many more people cheering him on when he becomes a little athlete.
• Our house is off the market...I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but we decided to take a break from showings, etc. Granted now I have someone coming to clean every other week so that would have made my life easier before. Trying to pick up with a extremley active toddler is not easy, in additon to keeping the rest of our house in order. I think we're back on the 4-5 year plan. We're going to stay here for a few more years, make this house a bit more like we want it, and then see what's out there. We had our house painted and deck redone with new stairs, railings, paint etc, over the summer and it looks so much better. We also are (as a type) getting new insulation put in, and soon our basement will be done with a bar, play area and new living space. I'm so excited!! If Bryan keeps this up I just might not want to move...Maybe that's his plan! Dirty trick Bry guy.
• Oh and in sad news...One of my professors who I worked so closely with over the last couple of years just suddenly passed away. It comes as a complete shock. I honestly can say I've never met someone who cares so much about his students and their success as he did. They think it was a heart attack but no one knows for sure yet. My prayers go out to his wife and family during such a busy and what is supposed to be happy, time of year. Campus will not be the same without his smiling face, dry humor, and to be honest...putting me through the ringer to win his business. I did it, but he def made me work hard for it. In doing so his new business might put me over the edge this year, and also it made it so worth it. He only did it because he cares about giving his students the best, and because he's so invested in them and was willing to learn and try new things. Cheers Mark, rest in peace.

Alriggghht. I think it's time this girl wraps up her blogging for one day and hits the gym!! In a couple weeks it will be packed with all the new year resolution-ers so I need to enjoy it while I can :)

Let's Start Over. Gavey.

I'm not even going to say it...Ok I will. I'm the worst at this! I always get so overwhelmed because I have so much to catch up on and I don't know where to start. So I'm going to do my favorite little bullet points in an attempt to quickly get up to speed. I'll do one all about Gaveys and the next about our family updates. Thennn hopefully I'll feel caught up and ready to jump into this again. I love going back and reading what happened in the last year, and at this rate I will have nothing. Yikes!

What's new with you Gavey?!

• You are a jabberwokke. As in you don't stop talking and I LOVE it!! Seriously SO freaking cute! My favorite thing is every morning when you wake up and come downstairs you say, "I need Coffeeeee Momma" Then I say "Gavey are you sure you want Coffee?" and you say "I silly Momma". Yes you are! You are a silly little guy. You love to laugh, play jokes and just be a little goofy goofer. You also sometimes refer to yourself in the 3rd person "Gavey wants to watch Thomas pease". Adorable! And you even called daddy "Bryan" and mommy "Dorelle..or more like "Drell" a couple times. Please don't do that. I'm already self conscious people think I'm your nanny and if you call me by my first name it will confirm it in some people's minds.

How did you get your Owwie?! Let's ask Daddy...

• You can count! We actually discovered this a little over a month ago, but when I say "one" you said "two" and we took turns all the way to 10! You love counting especially your food and your cars. You line everything up and say "one, two, tree, foh, five..." You're a genius. I will call it now.

You still haven't quite figured out how to ride in a car yet though...

• You are border line obsessed, probably to the point where it's unhealthy, which Thomas the train. ahhh. We now have your Geotrax taking up my living room, and you're on your way to having a little wooden Thomas the Train collection. Well Stephen and Juliette got you started with your first wooden thomas, tunnel and tracks, and Santa might help add to that this year. If you're good! ;)

Your favorite toy...which now takes up half of my living room floor thanks to you and your dad's new obsession.

• You were sick, as in really sick for the first time ever last week and it was heartbreaking. You've had little sniffles and coughs here and there but this time you had a fever. Ugh. I think this is the first fever you've ever had and it was so hard on momma. We spent the whole week doing nothing but snuggling, and cuddling. You slept constantly, and had no appetite or energy. The only thing you wanted was "fresha" (your word for water which I Love!! "I want fresha pease momma!", and CooCoo's which is your weakness...Cookies!" So you my little lovey got all the CooCoos and popsicles (freezies) that you wanted. Thankfully you kicked it by the weekend and your back with Stephanie today!

Poor little sleepy guy

You love your sweets!! Uh-oh


• I don't know if I mentioned this before but Stephanie now watches you at daycare and we honestly couldn't be happier. She used to watch you in the nursery at Riv, and daddy and mommy know Bob from the welcome team. He also is a teacher in DeWitt and the football coach, so they are definitly such great people. You can feel the love when you walk in the room, and it's way better than that horrible place you went to before. Ugh. Don't even get me started. I will not recommend them to anyone. Ever. Now I couldn't be happier and I have such peace about where you are. It's the best feeling ever. You also love Tommy and Drew, Neena's friends little twins! This morning you said, "Bye momma, go see Tommy". Ha! Tommy better not be moving up in the ranks over momma, K?!
• You're still off the charts in terms of your height and you weight around 27-28 lbs... I think we can even sneak you into the MAC tot watch tomorrow as a 2 year old because you're such a big guy. Woo Hoo! Everyone is always impressed when they hear your real age because they always think you're older because of your size and how chatty you are. It's cute but don't get to grown up on me because I want you to stay my little baby BFF forever.

Helping mommy make you MORE cookies!

• Your favorite pastime is riding along with momma and daddy at night checking out the Christmas lights. You always get so excited and say "OOOH Lighhhhts! Wowww!". I am now officially that person who drives around DeWitt Light Watching. I'm old.

I'm sure I'm missing so much but these are the major fun highlights for now. I promise to try my best to keep this up to date because I still have dreams of printing this off for you at some point so you can always go back and see what you're up to and when.

I love you so so so much little guy. In the wake of this horrible tragedy in CT it makes me look at you and want to hold you so tight and never let go of you. I want to protect you from everything. All of the evil in the world, but I know I won't always be able to do that. I want you to stay innocent forever, always see the good in people, and know that no matter what your mom and dad love you way more than you will ever be able to comprehend. I can't imagine my life without you. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me and for that I am so thankful and blessed. I love you Gavey.